Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Evolution of Robert Pattinson

Vanity Fair (2004)

Your big break, and your scenes are left scorching the editing room floor. That’s Hollywood for you!

Mr Pattinson's first major role saw him appearing in the updated, Reese Witherspoon-headed Vanity Fair as Rawdy Crawley.

His big moment comes in the graveyard scene, where he pouts and looks generally moody and miffed, frilled up something chronic. You can find it in the DVD’s deleted scenes.

The Do: The famous quiff puts in an early appearance, though the do’s shorter than usual.

Ring Of The Nibelungs (2004)

TV flick that used Norse mythology as a springboard for a lot of chatter about Dragon-Slaying and the like. Pattinson's fee funded his tuition at the Harrodian School in barnes.

R-Patz is Giselher, the king’s brother, who stows away on a voyage to Iceland. He wears a lot of Medieval-type clothing, and a lot of leather. There is actually smiling involved, which is a shock for anybody who’s not seen anything of Pattinson pre-Twilight.

The Do: It’s mullet time! Long, blonder than ever, and very pretty indeed. Nasty fringe, though.

Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire (2005)

Nabbing a role in The Little Franchise That Could, Pattinson plays Cedric Diggory (or should that be Deadric?), the famously tragic figure who falls at the hand of You-Know-Who.

His performance landed him the British Star of Tomorrow award from The Times, and by all accounts Patz had a good time filming how to scuba dive for the part. Oh, and he lied in his audition, saying that he loved football so he’d get the role. Bad boy.

The Do: Posh, side-swept boys’ school look befitting of somebody called Cedric. It’s about as dangerous as a kitten in a bow.

The Haunted Airman (2006)

R-Patz finds his way around a wheelchair for another TV movie, based on Dennis Wheatley’s ‘40s occult thriller, The Haunting Of Toby Jugg.

At the time, it was a fresh, riveting idea. A disabled British airman recovers from his time in battle. Pattinson’s version was funded by the BBC and aired on BBC4 in October 2006. His performance won fans in The Stage mag, who credited his performance, which incorporated “youthful terror and world weary cynicism”.

The Do: The Cedric do’s still there. Eee, isn't he posh?

The Bad Mother's Handbook (2007)

Another TV film, this one alongside Catherine Tate for ITV. It’s an adaptation of the bestseller of the same name by Kate Long. He plays the boyfriend of Holly Grainger’s Charlie, whose only gone and got herself pregnant.

Stateside, ABC are planning their own TV series based on the book, with the decidedly more glamorous Alicia Silverstone to star. We doubt Patz will be involved.

The Do: Oh dear God, make it stop! Painfully floppy curtains render R-Patz nothing more than a big, walking night-hair. Needs a serious trim.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix (2007)

Wait just one cotton picking minute, didn’t Patz die in the last HP outing? Ah, sorry Patties, there’s no resurrection for his manly Deadric. He just appears in a photograph.

It’s little more than a cameo, but a sweet one at that.

“Sometimes I think, ‘To hell with acting,’” the actor says. “And then I realize I could be working at a shoe shop. Acting is much cooler.”

The Do: A repeat of the young, gentlemanly cut he favoured in Goblet Of Fire.

The Summer House (2008)

A short film from the London Academy, Summer House might as well have been the role that convinced the Twilight producers that he was right for Edward Cullen.

After all, he plays a dark, persuasive stalker-type who falls head-over-heels in love with a dark-haired young lady and tries everything to woo her. He’s got a bit of a Hollywood tan here; lovely.

The Do: Still long, sort of a cross between the remains of a dead rat and an aging rocker.

How to Be (2008)

Patz shows off his skill with a guitar playing the odd-named Art (we’re guessing that’s short for Artemidoros or Arthgallo), a sort of transient low-life who means well, but seems to end up annoying everybody despite himself.

It was first released at the IFC Festival in April 2009 after having been on a screening tour. Patz won a Best Actor award at the Strasbourg Film Festival.

The Do: Dreadful! Curtains are worse than their debut in Bad Mother’s Handbook, and the eyebrows are out of control.

Little Ashes (2008)

Pattinson stretches those acting chops and makes out with a boy. In your face, Bella.

He plays infamous boundary-busting artist Salvador Dalí in the 1922-set tale, who allegedly had a gay affair with poet Federico García Lorca while studying at university in Madrid. There’s a bit where he puts his thing between his legs like Buffalo Bill in The Silence Of The Lambs.

It has been nominated for a prize at the 21st GLAAD Media Awards.

The Do: It’s all about that crazy moustache and the greasy, slicked back hair.

Twilight (2008)

Hard to believe that there was a Twi-hard outcry when news of Pattinson’s casting was first announced. He beat 3,000 brooding hopefuls to the role.

Pattinson says the film “is a metaphor for the virtues of chastity, but it's had the opposite effect. I get letters that say, ‘I'm going to kill myself if you don't watch High School Musical 2 with me.’ It's a little nuts.” Poor Patz.

The Do: That’s more like it. Patz finds his trademark do and makes teenage boys go running to the ‘dressers while forgetting how they took the piss out of the girls for doing the same with The Rachel.

New Moon (2009)

A diminished role for the first Twilight sequel, as Edward dumps his beloved Bella and she goes off with some wolf fella who hates wearing shirts.

It’s Patz’s favourite book in the series. He reportedly refused to have his unruly eyebrows waxed as much as in the first film.

Rumours persist that he and co-star Kristen Stewart are having a secret affair. Nobody’s talking – they don’t even talk to each other in public much.

The Do: A slightly longer, slightly darker variant on the original (to make him a bit grumpier, maybe).

Remember Me (2010)

This is the flick that Patz was filming when he was hit by a car attempting to escape screaming fans. During a break in shooting, he attempted to get away from over-zealous nutjobs and got clipped by a car. Luckily he was fine.

Hollywoodland director Allen Coulter helms this indie romance, in which moody 21-year-old Tyler (Patz) falls in love with Ally (Emilie de Ravin), who lives each day as if it were her last after witnessing her mother’s murder. Cheery stuff.

The Do: He’s found his style now, rocking the short look and making us all look damned unfashionable.


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