Saturday, May 23, 2009
Reference materials for this post:
A Life & Style report – click here - claiming that at the amfAR gala the other night in Cannes, Robert Pattinson was all over some girl called Erika , kissing her, and leaving with her. The magazine has published a photo of the two together “at the event”. Another photo of the two is at Pop Sugar.
Relax ladies. The whole story is full of sh-t. The pictures are full of sh-t, the details are full of sh-t.
First - the amfAR event was loaded with journalists. Many, many journalists. It would however seem that the only witness to Pattinson’s supposed hookup with this blonde was Life & Style’s source. Because everyone else – and trust me, EVERYONE was watching him that night, including several with a vested interest and much to gain from a Robert Pattinson romance story – observed that he was actually really low key that night, spoke with Emile Hirsch and a few other celebrities, was not drinking heavily, and certainly did not spend most of the night, if any part of the night, in the exclusive company of “Erika”.
Speaking of Emile Hirsch though – you can blame him for Pattinson getting sold out. Because it’s his friend who did it.
Remember Laura, Mio, and I were on the du Cap terrace on Wednesday night? Click here and here if you have not yet read those posts.
We’d been boozing at the du Cap when Pattinson arrived with his management. Emile Hirsch, his girlfriend, and some other girls came later.
Eventually Emile and his girlfriend joined Pattinson’s table. Was funny because Hirsch pulled up two chairs and didn’t bother pulling up a third for the attractive blonde who was with them and clearly wanted to sit down. Laura said her face was kinda pouty.
And who was she?
Yes, she was Erika. The same Erika with Pattinson in these pictures.
But they were not taken at amFAR.
They were taken at the Hotel du Cap terrace.
They were taken the night before. We saw her in this exact outfit that night, shaking Pattinson’s hand when she was introduced to him by Emile Hirsch and his girlfriend AT THE HOTEL DU CAP.
Anyone who has ever been to the du Cap terrace, and we go there every year, have done so for 4 years, can tell you it’s the du Cap terrace.
Laura is now yelling at me for not staying longer that night. If you recall, we bailed because Emile Hirsch is f-cking annoying. Laura left reluctantly with me. These pictures were taken after we’d left. So whoever put these photos out there, whoever made them available for sale (they are being brokered by a photo agency), clearly misrepresented them.
In other words: a friend of Emile Hirsch misrepresented herself. A friend of Emile Hirsch sold out Robert Pattinson. These photos are being sold in high quality. Which means you can’t blame Facebook because the only way they can be sold in HQ is if they’re the originals. Oh wait, let me guess, her camera was stolen.
Is Erika an aspiring actress? Or hard up for cash?
As for whether or not she left with Pattinson after amfAR, we’re not sure she was even AT amfAR. And again, he was being watched all night. No one else seems to be able to corroborate Life & Style’s account.
Pattinson left very early for Rome on Friday morning. He was at the airport just before us. Laura was grateful. Because we’d pulled an allnighter on our final evening and looked like sh-t.
So what are the conclusions that can be drawn from this, other than the fact that Life & Style, once again, um, got it wrong?
1. Erika did not f-ck Pattinson the night at the du Cap because if they did go to bed, in selling these pictures, she’s effectively killed any other chance of going to bed with him again.
2. He turned her down, this is why she’s selling the photos, figuring she may as well profit from his rejection (Laura believes this is the most plausible explanation)
3. She did f-ck him, doesn’t care to f-ck him again, and figures she should profit from their night together
Whatever the explanation, she’s not showing up in the best light.
4. Emile Hirsch is a douche.
5. Emile Hirsch has douchey friends
Robert Pattinson fans vs Emile Hirsch fans…a new war has erupted! GO!
And finally, am attaching a legitimate photo from amfAR of Pattinson with Hirsch and also Peaches Geldof. Pattinson should date Peaches Geldof. Love her. Also, Peaches Geldof is Laura’s celebrity doppelganger. Aside from hair colour, the similarity is uncanny. Laura is lucky her celebrity doppelganger is cool. Mine is not cool. Mine is nasty ass skank trash. Massage parlour Asian twat Tila Tequila. One night at a party last year, some loser asked me if I was the MTV girl who gets down with boys and girls. F-cker.